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Wifey



Miss Fyre
by Michael Lane
September 15, 1998

SEATTLE'S LUSTY LADY



Seattle, WA

hen one thinks of Seattle sexual icons, one immediately thinks of the Lusty Lady. Its outrageously humorous marquis' have entertained visitors and locals for years (classic examples: "Every Miss Is a Hit"; "Merry XXX-Mas and a Happy Nude Year"). It's also known for its casual, friendly, positive attitude toward stripping. The front desk people are low-key, clean, polite, and completely nonjudgmental. The management are not sleazy pot-bellied cigar-chomping Al Goldstein clones. They're often women, and are not intimidating in the least--either to the dancers or the customers. And since the dancers are paid an hourly wage, there's less game-playing and competition, and far more of a relaxed atmosphere all around.

In every other town in America, one would never casually admit to going to a peep show. But admitting that you stopped into the Lusty carries no such shame. The unstated feeling is that, "hey, all of us who work here have been stripers or go to strip clubs. There's nothing wrong with that."

Seattle is a small enough town that a Lusty Lady stripper you saw last night might work at a latte bar you frequent in the morning, or she might be a waitress at your favorite vegetarian restaurant, or might front your favorite local rock band, or work on your legal defense team. Heck, she might even be your chiropractor. Most Lusty strippers are open about what they do, feeling that the experience is positive, fun, completely natural, even healing. There's an esprit de corps among "the girls." Yes, they're here to get guys off, but they're also dancing for each other.

Miss Fyre perfectly represents the Lusty spirit, and, just as important, the frank, friendly, and casual Seattle approach to sexuality.

Monk: Are you from Seattle?

Fyre: I'm a native to Washington and I've lived in Seattle since I graduated from high school.

Monk: How many days a week do you do this?

Fyre: Oh, two or three. I used to work more frequently at the Lusty Lady, but now I have so many other things I do.

Monk: So, would we classify you as a sex worker if you just do peep shows?

Fyre: It's related to sex. You sell the idea of sex. It's the same thing. It's just a different genre. You have to feel pretty comfortable with yourself and what your doing. It's kind of like being a civil servant. It can eat your brains if you let it.

Monk: How can you do it for six hours at a time? I would get so completely bored.

Fyre: Oh, we entertain ourselves. We're there for the group therapy. Don't be fooled.
Monk: Tell us about that.

Fyre: Some people I work with, I love to work with them because I'll just take a look at them across the room and they'll crack me up. Or there's some people I love to work with because of their form. They're so graceful--you've got to remember to pick your jaw up off the floor. So, we make our own entertainment.

Monk: So have you worked in other sex jobs?

Fyre: I've danced at bachelor parties up the street. It's just not really worth the hassle to be there anymore because the industry as far as adult entertainment establishments are really taking a beating right now because of the four foot laws. Like Deja Vu, places like that, table dancing clubs. We're a little separate at the Lusty because we're behind glass.

Monk: What's the four foot law? Can you explain that?

Fyre: Other than Rick's in North Seattle, every other place [in Seattle] has this four foot law. Patrons and dancers must be separated by four feet. How are you going to get tips? Washington state I think is probably the most conservative as far as rules and regulations that govern the entertainment industry.

Monk: How does working at the Lusty Lady differ from other jobs you've had? What's unique about the Lusty Lady?

Fyre: There's a lot more camaraderie. There's a certain bonding that occurs when you walk around naked with other people. I mean you get kinda close. It's like family. It sounds crazy but you make lasting relationships there. They're like your sisters, your friends, your buddies.

Monk: It's seems like a sweet place to work. The management's nice, it's not seedy.

Fyre: Well, when you get past the main desk the hallways are kind of dark. And it's otherworldly. It's like being in a movie theater. You know nuclear holocaust could happen outside and you'd never know. You have no windows. Everyone's looking at the stage. But it's neat. I get to work about an hour early and I get settled in and I talk to people as they come and go. It's just the camaraderie.

Monk: Give me some of the etiquette. What's the do's and don'ts of a person coming to a peep show like that?

Fyre: Smile. Ladies love it. Think about it. A naked woman likes it when you smile at her. You're happy to see her. And if you knock on the glass you're going to scare the little fishes away. We'll swim away from you.

Monk: Now don't men give orders for what they want?

Fyre: If a guy goes like this to me (circling the finger) I'll go (no, no). They want you to turn around because they want to see your backside or something. Some girls take orders. I tell them, "sweetie, I'm not lost. I don't need directions. I do requests in the private booth though, come see me there."

Monk: Are a lot of the dancers lesbians? Or is it mixed?.

Fyre: It's a pretty evenly mixed. There are ladies with children, single ladies, bisexual ladies, lesbian ladies. A little bit of everything.

Monk: What are the limits of what you are allowed to do? Can you touch your pussy?

Fyre: You can't. There's no insertion of any kind on stage.

Monk: But you can put in your own finger.

Fyre: No insertion of any kind. I'm fairly certain that putting your finger in your mouth is insertion in the state of Washington. I don't really do a lot of personal touching on stage. I'll grab my boobs or might brush past my crotch. But I try to save that for the private booth. It's not a "put your finger in the pussy" stage, it's a dance stage. And I'm fairly certain that as far as guys in their booths, insertion is probably illegal there too. Some guys ask me, "is it o.k. if I touch myself?" And I tell them, "well, I'm not going to tell anyone if you don't." So, they laugh, they smile and that puts them at ease, and they get a little more comfortable.

Monk: So tell us a little bit about that. Do people come in and masturbate in the booth?

Fyre: I'd say anywhere from seventy to eighty percent.

Monk: So your standing there dancing for guys that are....

Fyre: Touching themselves, completely.

Monk: Who've dropped all of their clothes off.

Fyre: Some guys do. I'd say probably about ten percent. And those are the real exhibitionists. They'll get in those corner booths where the windows are real big and just take it all off.

Monk: So the corner booths are bigger.

Fyre: Oh yeah, and they are two-ways, because if there are other customers in the other booths and they're at the right angle and close enough, they can see them too. Naked for God and everybody.

Monk: Do you ever get turned on by these guys? Do you allow yourself that?

Fyre: For me personally, its more fun if I have a guy that doesn't come in, whip it all off and wiggle his weenie at me. It's more exciting if he shows a little bit of control but you can tell he's excited and he's smiling, and he's having a good time, and he's nice.

It's not a turn-on for me if when that window starts to open he's already naked and masturbating. It's like, "you don't need my help. What are you in here for?"

Monk: Give me some of the strange stories that have happened.

Fyre: Whenever you think you've seen it all, someone's going to shatter that. Just like fetishes that people have. Things that they're really excited by. Anything from wearing a diaper or ladies underwear. Guys in suits always wear women's lingerie underneath. I think it's great. They're in touch with their feminine side. Guys bring their own toys in to use on themselves. Or they've been to the market and bought a zucchini, or a carrot or something.

Monk: They stick it up their rear.

Fyre: Yeah, you bet. They'll come in and try to shock me. And I just smile and go, "oh, that's great."

Monk: How did you get started in erotic dancing?

Fyre: I managed a men's clothing store about three years. A friend of mine, she started working doing stripping telegrams, dancing at bachelor parties. I rode around with her for a year and watched her make in a matter of hours, just dancing, what I slaved all week for. I thought, "God, I could do this." I got really tired of working my butt off and not making any money. So I gave my notice. I did stripping telegrams for about a year. A girl I knew was working at the Lusty Lady and she was like, "oh, you should go work there." So it was a week later that I'd gone in for my audition and I was hired.

Monk: Have you had breast transplant?

Fyre: Well, watch this. Are you offended by breasts? Hold on, I've got to make sure my nipples look straight. Where's a mirror. Over here? O.K. Gimme your hands. (The Monk puts his hand on her breast) Grab it like you mean it. (He gives the breast a good squeeze )

Monk: Those are pretty real. Do they use silicone anymore? I'm worried about you guys.

Fyre: It doesn't hurt. I didn't go drastic. I went from a B to a C. I had a great surgeon. I've had women actually grab my breast and go, "oh my god, they're real." "No, they're five grand. Fooled you." But a lot of people don't know because it's proportionate with my body.

Monk: Were you an exhibitionist before you started dancing?

Fyre: I don't know so much as exhibitionist as extrovert. I'm not offended by nudity. I'll be the first to stick my boobs against the glass window and stick my thumbs in my ears and wiggle my fingers and stick my tongue out and cross my eyes at somebody while I'm flashing them topless.

Monk: You obviously enjoy your job.

Fyre: It's fun. How somebody could not have fun there is beyond me. There are two kinds of people in the world. People who masturbate. And people who lie about it. So, why lie. And the Lusty Lady is a good outlet because, as I say to customers about them masturbating in front of me and things like that, imagine if you went to the Space Needle for dinner, by yourself. Beautiful place, great food, nice view, great service. Wouldn't it be better if you had someone to enjoy it with. So that's pretty much how I look at it.

email: missfyre@hotmail.com





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