IDIOT-IN-CHIEF
by James Marshall Crotty
January 19, 2001
IDIOT-IN-CHIEF
he US has had stupid Presidents
before--Reagan and Ford come to mind.
Men of the mid-brow, of simple thoughts,
of one-dimensional concepts.
Decent men. Well-intentioned men. But
men who lacked the ability to follow
up a question on policy because they've
never thought beyond their own
doctrinaire understanding of the policy
question at hand.
Yet even with these stalwarts of
mediocrity, never before have we encountered
a man so lacking in intellectual substance
as George W. Bush. Simply put,
Dubbya is a coaster, a frat boy, a
dull-witted, verbally-challenged preppy
with a preference for the Cliffs Notes
summary rather than the nuances
of the primary text. A "man without
qualities," to paraphrase
Robert Musil. And this, to paraphrase
Martha Stewart, is a very "good
thing."
Because stupid Presidents are bloody
good for the old Red, White, and
Blue. Here's why:
1. When Americans feel comfortable with
their President, the country moves
smoothly. Smart Presidents make
Americans feel very uncomfortable. At
first Americans feel insulted, and then they
grow paranoiac--"what
is he doing that I don't know about?"
mutters the everyman. Despite
his charismatic appeal to the average Joe,
Joanne, and assorted Gennifers
and Monicas, Clinton was done in by
Americans' suspicion of smartness.
Clinton wasn't helped either by an
educated First Lady who lacked the
common touch. Al "Don't Get
Snippy" Gore was a victim of a similar
revulsion towards the "smartest kid
in the class," even though
his intellect was no match for brainy Bill.
You see, America is fundamentally
anti-intellectual. Richard Hofstadter
told us that back in 1966 in his seminal
work, "Anti-Intellectualism
in American Life." Americans en
masse are at ease with a man who
shares their low ambitions for intellectual
achievement. A policy nut
like Willie Wonk-a Clinton was tolerated
only as long as he played the
Bubba--with the requisite references to
"pigs" in "pokes"--and
covered up his amazing intellect, and a
saxophonist's skill at impromptu
rhetorical improvisation, with a veneer of
mono-syllabic Babbitry.
2. The office of the US President
necessitates quick and clear decision-making.
Stupid Presidents make quick and clear
decisions. There's no Hamlet-like
moments of indecision. They don't sweat
the finer details of policy, as
do smart Presidents. Case in point: Jimmy
Carter, widely regarded as this
century's sharpest President. After all,
Carter was a nuclear physicist.
In fact, he understood nuclear power so
well he had no fear in entering
Three Mile Island after the meltdown.
Carter, however, was one of our
least effective leaders. He labored over
details. And was beaten down
by the job. The American people lost
confidence in a man who was too bright
to be their boss.
3. Stupid Presidents get good advice. This
is because stupid Presidents
delegate. And delegate well. Because they
are at home with their innate
stupidity, because they have nothing to
prove intellectually, stupid Presidents
are comfortable surrounding themselves
with people who do the thinking
for them. Reagan had Weinberger and
Stockman. Dubbya has the likes of
Vice-President, and
smirker-behind-the-smiler, Dick Cheney,
Secretary
of State Colin Powell, Secretary of
Defense Donald Rumsfeld (who held
the same position under Former Stupid
President, Gerald Ford), and deputy
chief of staff Andrew Card, Jr.,
orchestrator of the smoothest Republican
Convention in decades. Stupid Presidents
have an instinctive ability to
smell a smart idea, even if they could
never hope to come up with the
idea themselves. And because they are
not afraid to surround themselves
with superiors, and because, like the best
reporters, they are not afraid
to ask dumb questions, stupid Presidents
end up getting better advice
than Presidents who feel the need to
intellectually prove themselves to
their subordinates.
4. Stupid Presidents are consistent. It is
axiomatic that what matters
most to foreign leaders, to the stock
market, to the Pentagon brass, is
not so much what a US President stands
for (as long as it is within the
bounds of reasonable policy) but whether
he is consistent in his defense
of it. Reagan was undeniably consistent.
The Pentagon grasped this, and
fashioned a steadfast front against Soviet
aggression. The Soviets saw
this, and backed down. The investment
community saw this, and ratcheted
up the stock market to unprecedented
levels. The American people saw this,
and consumed in record amounts.
I hated Reagan. Because he was not an
intellectual and because, as a result
of this trait, he was so maddeningly
successful. Intellectuals hate to
see idiots succeed. It invalidates the
intellectual and his quibbling.
It renders insignificant the intellectual's
arduous path of policy Sturm
und Drang. It says to the
intellectual--soul-searching, smarts, and complex
wrangling are not necessary for success.
All that is required is unwavering
conviction and a little bit of charm.
By nature, unwavering convictions are
anathema to the thinker, who dissects
and questions all. Charm, however, is the
intellectual's Achilles heel--it
has the ability to break down
defenses.
When it comes to intellect, George W.
Bush makes Ronald Reagan look like
a MENSA brat. While
cognitively-challenged, Reagan was at least
nimble
on his feet--an expert rhetorician, always
ready with a comeback or artful
spin. Bush is constitutionally incapable of
such Sophistry. He constructs
a simple agenda, and reiterates its basic
tenets over and over like an
automaton. Questioned about the subtleties
of those policy positions,
he can only come back with a repeat of
the original position--not in any
fancy new garb. Just a repetition. As
London's Guardian newspaper puts
it, "at the dawn of the 21st century,
the global village is finally
complete. At last it has a global village
idiot."
It is funny to watch our nation's press
corps analyze this man for clues
to something deeper. The print press in
particular, tangentially aligned
as they are with the thinking class (a small
minority within the great
mass of America), needs to believe there
is something mysterious about
Dubbya Bush, something more that was
not apparent during the campaign,
something intellectually vital in him that
validates their high-brow view
of themselves. As a result, they've built a
complex edifice where none
is justified, and, more to the point, where
none is needed (because as
any Bush staffer will tell you, Americans
don't want a wonk as President).
The rash of overwrought analyses of our
new President from the New York
Times to Newsweek are like the amusing
efforts of rock critics who studiously
dissect the aesthetics of a band that
doesn't warrant more than a passing
paragraph. Rock is from the groin, not the
cerebellum. A feature length
story on the thoughts of George W. Bush
is like a master's thesis on Aerosmith.
Journalists have to accept that the Clinton
era of charismatic wonkery
is over. With Clinton, journalists were
warranted in probing deeper because
the Clinton front belied a more complex
and substantive core. There were
endless riches to be mined within the life
and legend of the kid from
Hope. With the kid from Texas, what you
see is what you get.
And sooner or later, the press, the
academics, the whole thinking class
in America will wake up to a simple, if
terrifying, fact: in regards are
newly elected President, there is no there
there.
And that is a very good thing.
James Crotty is author of "How to
Talk American," co-author
of "The Mad Monks' Guide to New
York City," and a motive force
behind the alternative travel web site,
Monk.com. Jim@Monk.com.
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